DEFAX

so my dad hit me again so i finally stood up. I told the counselor and defax got involved now my dads going to jail. and also my boyfriend! Hes 20(i have two boyfriends and they dont know about eachother) well until now Tiny does not know about ray. But i told ray about Tiny and now he wants him dead. I think both of my relationships are going down the drain! I'm going to be taken from my home. My dad is going to jail so he is looseing the house which means my animals will have to be put down. and my mom will have to live with my grandma...I just wanted them to stop hittting me...now my brother hates me and so does my whole family! I dont know what to do now im on suicide watch!Im only 15! What the hell am i gonna do! The counselour said they want me to feel bad. thats what they want(my parents)I hope i go to a nice fosterhome.

ISS day 2

Day two in hell! He keeps looking at me walking around and around the room! Teachers I hate them! I can feel him burning a hole threw me! I hate men! And starting to hate girls too! got to go stupid dip shit!! This is so getting on my nerves!

Staring eyes

So yeah, today is a rough day. Friday i got cought somking on school property so I now have 2 days ISS. All the teachers stare at me looking at everything I am doing. It gets annoying. I am far above this shit. I should be doing whatever the hell it is I want to do! Everyone is looking at your comp screen trying to see what your typing or doing. Then you have the people that just love to sit stare at you! Like the guy next to me! Who is looking at me and my comp screen at this very moment. God I hate people! And then again your in a room filled with people you don't know. What the hell. And the silence is so thick you could cut a hole threw it. And the teacher is staring once again! Isn't life lovley. Yeah i know I'm having a bad day, but really come on! This?!? I have nothing to do AND I can't talk what the fuck! And once again shes still staring! Will this nightmare ever end? Someone shoot me...

Cute Guy

I saw a real cute guy yesterday. One of my friends friends. I was like wow 0.0. If i hook my friend up with my sister he will hook me and him up. Wow i dont waste time! I have not been on any drugs since i dont know when going to go look for a job. I really need one. I also know that I'm going for a smoke soon as i get out of here. I still cant stop thinking about Joeseph...I think i love him...even though he broke my heart...I want him back so bad! I hope he smells his jaket and will always think of me.

Rejection

Rejection is the worst feeling ever! You feel like shit look like shit and your ego is down...Life is filled with rejection. Weather it be a rejection on a job or rejection from the person you like. From hitting on someone at a bar to when your a kid crushing. Or from gettinf rejected at a low paid job or being rejected from a college. See life is really filled with it. A select few do not experience it, and they are damn lucky. Many people do, and i say to you keep your head up high.

If...

Life is full of questions like what if...? What if i didnt scream at her? What if I didn't freak out on him? What if we didn't break up? What if i didn't hit her? What if she didn't die? What if he didn't stand me up? What if we didn't have sex? What if we ran away together? What if I didn't have parents? What if the person I hated most in the world was dead? But my what if question is...What if I was born human...?

Humans

I hate humans they are so filled with flaws! Can never make up thier minds! I went on a date the other day with a human. Stupid humans! Grrr! He was the most beautiful thing that could have happened to me. But he threw me away! God i hate humans!!! No matter though they will all die! Oh yeah and i found out that my new lover is like me! Im so happy!

Sister

I met someone like me today she said she was my sister from a past life. She is just like me...And the wierd thing is that she really is my sister from a past life! I remember her...Her name was Maria and mine. Alexandra. I wish there was an easy way to say this but i'm over 300 years old. Shes over 3,000 years old. Now some of you might think im crazy but hey thats me lol.